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[26 Mar 2006|12:10pm] |
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Where is AUNT FLOW??????????????????????
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[23 Mar 2006|11:15am] |
BLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
God... I am suppossed to get tires on my car today. I tried calling Nathan EARLY like he wanted me to and he didn't wake up to the phone call so if I waste gas and drive all the way out there for him to possibly not hear the door either then I will be extremely pissed off. I want to have fun today.. It's my day off.. I don't want to sit in my house all day waiting.. I'm going to go do something else if he doesn't call me back soon.
I reaLLY hate my life.
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[12 Mar 2006|11:51pm] |
Fuck life...
This is me.. Giving up..
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[27 Dec 2005|02:12pm] |
Gettin my car today.. Woop Woop. Nathan was being a jerk yesterday.. I was like "I don't understand why you have to be such a fucking asshole to me. I didn't do anything to you." Then I got all teary eyed and I was crying "secretly"... well he didn't notice anyway. I was so pissed.
I stayed at my moms house last night to get my car today. I couldn't sleep without him :( , I hope things are a lot better today.
Lots<3Of<3Love~
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[20 Dec 2005|11:48am] |
Me and Nathan are making an oreo, peanut butter pie for Christmas Eve at my house. His mom is mad because she wants us to go to his grandma's house on Christmas eve. :-\ I'm going to see MY family... and Nathan wants to come too so oh well!
Me and Lindsay are hanging out today, that should be fun :) as always ~
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[15 Dec 2005|05:46pm] |
I am so excited, We are having Christmas Eve at my house this year... Me and Nathan are bringing a pie or something. It's going to be a really nice Christmas after all :)
Yaaahhh...
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[10 Dec 2005|12:01pm] |
I have decided to stay here for another week or two.. Nathan got his old job back and we are moving out within the next 2 weeks. We'll be moving to Jeannette or near jeannette... Anyone know of any cheap one bedroom apartments?????
Let me know!~
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[09 Dec 2005|05:55pm] |
I think I am moving back home...... I'm not leaving Nathan... but I need to get my life in order and so does he.
I don't want to lose him
I have been crying all week and I can't stop.
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[07 Dec 2005|12:10pm] |
I just had a dream that I found a whole lot of my own money hidden some where... That would be wonderful.
We were all at my house, (nathan's house) Me, Erin, Amanda, Lacey, Cerina, Brianna, and some weird girl that I never seen before and didn't like. We were all getting ready to party. The extremely weird part of it was all of the money was in checks. Like big pink ones... There were ones that said 2100.72 (That was the EXACT number on one of the checks!), but I had stacks of checks!!! They were all hundreds and only 2 in the thousands range but it was flipping amazing, the only REALLY bad part was I went to the bathroom in my dream (cause I really had to go in reality) and I got my period (in my dream)...........
That's when I woke up and ran to pee haha.
But WHY can't dreams come true?
Why did I spend my graduation money??
Why am I stuck in misery?
I hate dreaming, I dream every night about crazy shit and wake up sweating.
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[05 Dec 2005|04:36pm] |
Hello,
I would like to die now..
I have no job
no money
and if nathan doesn't try to support me soon i'm going to have to go back home because I can't live like this and I can't just waste my life away sitting here waiting to be kicked out on my ass.
I need a ciggerate. :(
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[22 Nov 2005|09:19pm] |
Nathan got his car finally.
I have to work on Thanksgiving :(
Hope to see a few familiar faces soon.
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[14 Nov 2005|11:44am] |
Nathan and I are getting along really well. We had one mild argument and that was a long story but it only brought us closer together. I really really love him and plan on being with him for a long time if not forever. We are so much a like and we are both extremely understanding. It's amazing how two young people can live together and not get sick of each other. I usually can't wait until he gets off work or until I get off work so I can see him!!!! =P
Anyway, I get paid this friday or thursday or something. I probably won't get paid much but i'm gonna try very hard to get my car on the road because Nathan's mom is going back to work and I'm not going to have a ride to work. Nathan's grandpap said he would take me WHENEVER I needed a ride, but I still feel bad. When I get my car i'm going to see my friends. GIRL TIME!! Then I'll go see my guy friends and have GUY TIME. Then we'll all get together in one and have tons of fun just being us.
Well, I ran out of dumb founded ramble so I must be on my way.
Lots Of Love <3
Erica~
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| I got a job!! |
[08 Nov 2005|02:32pm] |
Yaaaaah!!! I got a job at Cracker Barrel. I'm starting out as a hostess.. I am so excited. They are supposed to call me today, I can't wait!
Woop-dee-doop... I'll have my car on the road and i'll have money for Nathan's birthday! Finally things are looking better! :-D
I'll keep you updated..
_Next time on "The Life Of Erica."
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| He Loves Me ~ He Loves Me Not |
[29 Oct 2005|08:02pm] |
I need someone to be blown away by me.
I want to be breath taking, I want to be noticed. I want to be the center of your attention. I want to be told that I am beautiful. Why am I pretending..
WHY doesn't ANYONE ever FEEL the SAME way ABOUT me!?!?!?!? Every fucking time I like someone!!!
I don't know, I am really sad right now and I don't know why. I don't know how to make it go away.. It's driving me insane and I don't know how much longer I can take it.
Death = Freedom
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[27 Oct 2005|04:45pm] |
I can't take this any more.. Everyone wants me to do this.. and this and this and this. Does anyone know the meaning of happiness? I mean honestly...What about what I want!? Where I want to be.. What I want to do. Who cares if my family doesn't like my boyfriend.. does that mean I should throw all of my feelings away and just get another one? That's not going to make me happy so why should I do it. For them? WHY??! This is my life.. My main goal in life is to hold onto happiness, and going back home where I get bitched at and lectured constantly is not going to make me happy. Telling me NOT to do something is going to make me want to do it. I don't know why that is, but that is how every teenager is. It's because they are on lock down for 18 years and when they are old enough they can finally do what they want and not what people are telling them to do. You learn from your mistakes, you don't learn because people are telling you not to do something. When you were little and your mom says "don't touch that it's hot" for the very first time.. what do you do? Touch it anyways because you want to see for your self. I learned that in Psychology class I know all about it. I don't understand why everyone is making such a big deal about me, I'm not doing anything wrong. I am sitting in Yukon, cleaning and being miserable because my parents won't take me to get a title transfer on my car so I can get a freaking job until I come home.. and I know that's what they are trying to do. They are trying to make me come home. Don't MAKE someone do what they don't want to do...... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care what the situation is.. Let them go on their own.. That way they are happy, and it doesn't matter if it makes you happy because it's not your life... it's MINE.
I said the same thing 15 thousand times in all different ways so I hope my now you all got my point.
I am just getting angry thinking about this all..
<333 Erica~
"And the coastline is quiet.
While we're quietly losing control.
And we're silent but sure
we inventened the cure
that will wash out my memories of her.
"The harpoon is loaded. The cage is lowered.
The water is red."
Like you, like you."
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[24 Oct 2005|11:22am] |
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I hate dreams, I hate sleeping.
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[22 Oct 2005|01:06pm] |
I can't stop crying. I seriously hope I don't kill myself because I am seriously considering it.
This all just feels like a bad dream that is never going to end. I can't get rid of it. It won't go away. Neither will the pain, tears, and everything else that has fucked me over through out this. My mom thinks my friends won't talk to me now that I don't have a car or a job or money. I don't know :(
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[21 Oct 2005|07:42pm] |
I moved out of my house and now I am jobless, homeless, carless, and fucking the biggest loser there ever was.
I think I cried all day today.
I am staying with Nathan so if anyone wants to get a hold of me they can call his house phone.
I can't take everyone's bullshit and the rumors. It got too old for me and I just blew up!
:( :( :(
I feel like I just want to die.. That's all I want to do, I want to fucking die!
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[19 Oct 2005|09:06pm] |
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I LOVE YOU NATHAN <333
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[14 Oct 2005|10:58am] |
I keep having really fucked up dreams.. Every single night. I don't even want to go to sleep any more.. I wake up drenched in sweat!
wow.......ugh
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